“My name is Richard Okello, and I’m 40 years old. If you had met me a few years ago, you wouldn’t recognize the man I am today. Back then, I was living recklessly—violent, constantly drinking, and completely unaware of the impact I was having on my family. I didn’t think twice about how many children I had, and as a result, I’m now the father of ten. I was lost, and so was my family. But then something happened that changed everything. I was introduced to a training program by ActionAid, through a man.”

These were Richard’s opening statement as he shared his painful and finally triumphant story from a lost violent drunkard to a responsible and protective man. It is easy to see that his story renews his resolve in his newfound journey.

In a small village in Kitgum district Labongo Layamo sub-county, we met Richard who had come to meet a delegation from the Austrian Development Cooperation (ADC) at the sub-counties headquarters. Richard was part of a larger group of participants in an ADC- funded project but something about him set him apart. When he shared his story, you could tell that he was a man who had looked into hell and came back. His gratitude was vivid.

Richard Okello, now 40, recalls a time when his life was in disarray. "I was living recklessly," he admits, his voice tinged with regret. "I was violent, and I drank a lot. I had no control over how many children I should have." By the age of 40, Richard had fathered ten children. His home, once filled with tension and chaos, mirrored his internal turmoil.

But today, there is a sense of peace and purpose in Richard's life that was not there before. The change began when he met Samuel, a community development personnel from ActionAid, who introduced him to a training program supported by the UNFPA, in partnership with the Austrian Development Cooperation.. This program, known as Male Action Group (MAG) approach, focuses on transforming gender norms by engaging men in adopting positive behaviors and championing the fight against gender-based violence.

Before the training, Richard was unaware of the detrimental effects his behavior was having on his family. However, the MAG training opened his eyes to the realities of his actions. "During the training, they gave us scenarios, and every bad scenario depicted me. It made me reflect deeply," Richard recalls. "The scenario on domestic violence spoke to me. I felt chills. I knew I had to change, and my resolve was final."

The training covered essential topics such as sexual and reproductive health and rights (SRHR) and family planning, emphasizing how these aspects are crucial to family well-being. For Richard, it was a revelation. "After receiving the training, my life changed together with my family. I am now born again, and we are all born again," he says with pride.

The transformation did not stop at Richard’s behavior. It extended to his relationship with his wife and his approach to life. Where he once neglected his responsibilities, Richard now actively participates in household chores and farming. "Life has become so easy with my wife. When we go to the garden, I help her. If she carries firewood, I carry the children," he explains. His newfound dedication has allowed him to cultivate a thriving cassava and maize garden, and he has even acquired oxen to aid in his work.

Richard's change has had a ripple effect on his community. Where he was once met with disdain, he is now respected. "Before, when I would stand up to speak, the community would murmur in disdain. But now, people respect me. When I stand up, they listen," he shares. His transformation was so profound that he even contested for the position of LC Chairperson in his village.

The impact of the MAG approach is far-reaching. Through the partnership between UNFPA, ADC, and ActionAid, the project has reached many men like Richard, helping them to adopt gender-positive behaviors and to be advocates for change within their communities. Richard's story is just one example of how targeted interventions can not only transform an individual but also uplift an entire community.

As Richard reflects on his journey, his gratitude is evident. "I am so grateful for this support," he says. "I hope that men who were like me, who have not been reached, can also be reached." 

Asked about what his wife would say if asked about the man he is today, he smiles wide and says: “If my wife was here I think she would thank you for bringing his husband back to life!”

Richard Okello's story is a powerful reminder of the potential for change within us all and the importance of programs like MAG in creating more equitable and peaceful communities.

Written by Kalenzi Uwera Prisca